Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Nine fifty AM

They towed all the cars from my street, this presages another demonstration raging along my street. We’re going to be more diligent today, as I’ve decided to unplug my laptop from my printer and a dozen other appliances and head up to the Garden where they’re going to have the morning press conference. Today’s special guest: The Secretary of Education. I’ve brought my friend and associate Bob, no relation to my cousin Bob or the guy from the NBR who kicked me out of that formerly august organization. But that’s neither here nor there. What is is that when we got here they had pro-wrestling on the giant plasma screens on either side of the podium.

As they do the sound checks, the channel is changed and the default picture is now on the screen. The speakers have shown up and everyone is just sitting there waiting for a critical mass of people to show up. Either that or they’re following some arcane tradition…they’re having problems with the telephone hookup. Ron Paige, our hose apologizes for the delay.

The theme of the day is "compassion" which means that they’re going to be as hypocritical as possible. This afternoon, each of the 55 delegations will do charity work to show that they’re not all greedy shits. Tonight, it’s expected that Bush is going to be denominated.

The Secretary of Education says that we’re on a hinge time, and he’s right, but he’s discussing his portfolio. Rudman and Hart’s 2001 report that education is a national security issue. He says that we need a new approach to education. "This is no time for us to go to sleep on education." True enough, but so far that he’s have no idea what to do about it. He says there’s a crisis. But he says nothing about what the administration’s going to do about it.

A reporter says the podium at the convention looks too much like a pulpit and it looks like two crosses. Hmmmmmmmmmmm……

A question is asked to the Secretary about the status of the "No Child Left Behind" act.
He claims that several think tanks say that funding for it is on target.

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