Gen Art films, part two

High Maintenance

Directed by
Phil Van

One of the more effective ways of telling a joke is to make a short film. This is about an allegedly married couple(Nicolette Krebitz and Wanja Mues), who are having dinner and don’t seem to be very happy about it. So she turns him off and calls the robot company to get an upgrade. She gets it and then there’s the punch-line, which is obvious the minute it happens [writer Simon Biggs picked a very OLD joke] but in no way stifles the giggle. Van and Biggs will be heard from again.

When A Man Falls in the Forest

Written and Directed
by Ryan Eslinger

What do movie stars do when work begins to fall off? They work for scale in small independent films. That’s what Sharon Stone, who hasn’t been getting to many big paydays lately, has been doing for the last few years.
Nothing wrong with that, I guess.

This is one of those tiny films where the cast is hoping for a left field Oscar® nomination to get back in the big time. This is exactly the kind of film for that kind of hope. It’s well directed, well acted, and depressing as hell. I mean leave-the-theater-and-jump-in-front-of-a-moving-car type thing. Perfect for a date on a Saturday night.

The film is mostly about a janitor named Bill(Dylan Baker), who has no real people skills and works at night and sleeps during the day. One day he’s discovered by an old nemesis, Gary(Timothy Hutton) who’s been staying late at the office mostly to avoid his wife Karen(Sharon Stone), who is suffering from empty nest syndrome [their son(Nicholas Elia) is off at college], and clearly sick of Gary’s continued presence.

After discovering Bill’s existence, Gary contacts his old pal Travis(Pruitt Taylor Vince), who has been in a holding pattern since an auto accident some years before. Is any of this going to go anywhere? That’s the question. Aside from a subplot about Bill and a thing called “lucid dreaming” it most certainly does not. It keeps on keeping on it’s unfocused way until it arrives at a completely arbitrary ending, the kind that says: “I can’t think of an decent ending, so I’m going to do something violent for no earthly reason”

This is a professional cast doing the best they can with what they’ve got, which isn’t all that much. This is not going to do what was intended, and won’t come to a theater near anyone in the near future.

The Saddest Boy in the World

Written and Directed
by Jamie Travis

Timothy Higgins(Benjamin B. Smith), the title character is going to commit suicide on his ninth birthday. His mommy(Kirsten Robek) has invited all his enemies(Jerocko Harder, Colton Boreen, Paige & Danika Martin, Megan McKinnon and Garnet Barrett) to the party, and the fact that he hates his sister(Hailey Conner) and his shrink(Babs Chula) is a moron doesn’t help matters much.

Once Timmy’s tale of woe is finished, we wait for the happy ending, but auteur Jamie Travis refuses to end this live action cartoon that way, giving in to the obvious conclusion. Nicely done, but rather too artzy for it’s own good.

The National Film Board of Canada and the Government of Alberta paid for this thing, presumably as a public interest educational film intended to fight overpopulation. Either that, or because the subject matter is extremely Canadian.

He Was a Quiet Man

Written and Directed
by Frank Cappello

Frank Cappello has a day job. It’s what’s called a script doctor. Fixing up other peoples’ stuff while he writes stuff like “Suburban Commando” and “Constantine,” the latter of which made quite a bit of money, so he doesn’t have to go around selling shoes and other stuff like that.

Like most writers, he knows that the job of director is rather unnecessary and that he could probably do it himself if given the chance. So with this script, he’s managed to get a chance to prove it.

The film begins with a joke of sorts. Bob Maconel(Christian Slater) is one of
those cubicle drones on the edge of madness. We know this because when
he gets home he has a conversation with one of his goldfish, who calls him a
wimp for being still alive along with all his evil coworkers.

So the next day, while his immediate superior(Jamison Jones) is castigating
him for doing his job properly, Bob finally gets up the gumption to do the
deed. Nervous, he drops the last bullet, and while he tries to pick it up, he
hears shots. SOMEONE HAS BEATEN HIM TO IT!!!! So Bob shoots the shooter,
and thus saves the life of the lovely Vanessa(Elisha Cuthbert), who is
unfortunately paralyzed from the neck down. We now have gone from a black
comic short, to a genuine feature.

Bob is acclaimed a hero and is given a job as the CEO’s(William H. Macy)
assistant, or as the sign on the door says, “VP in charge of creative thinking.
He also starts a romance with Vanessa, who has movement in her left pinky
and thus has hope for recovery. This leads to a whole new set of problems.

The acting is, obviously professional and Slater gives one of his best performances ever. Cuthbert shows she’s not just another pretty face, and the film keeps us interested for the entire hour and a half. It should find a distributor rather quickly.


Frank Cappello has a day job. It’s what’s called a script doctor. Fixing up other peoples’ stuff while he writes stuff like “Suburban Commando” and “Constantine,” the latter of which made quite a bit of money, so he doesn’t have to go around selling shoes and other stuff like that.

Like most writers, he knows that the job of director is rather unnecessary and that he could probably do it himself if given the chance. So with this script, he’s ma

No Diving

Directed by
William Hoffman

A man. A dock. No ego. That’s the subtitle of this cute little short, where our hero(Michael Cuomo) jumps into the lake a dozen times with no form whatsoever. That’s it. It might have made it’s money back at some film festival.

Chalk

Written and Directed
by Mike Akel

The school year is a long one in Texas, and former high school teacher
Mike Akel has decided to make his feature debut with the slogan “write what
you know” clearly in mind.

Mr. Stroope(Chris Mass) is a novice on his first job as a history teacher;
Mr. Lowrey(Troy Schremmer) has more experience but has too much of
an ego to get where he wants to be. Mrs. Reddell(Shannon Haragan) has
just been promoted to assistant principal and thus her relationship with
with her old pal Coach Webb(Janelle Schremmer), who is straight. [She
makes a point about that]. At the quartet go forth into the world of
education, in a Christopher Guest kind of way.

The “mockumentary” format isn’t always the best way to do things, but in
this case, there’s really not much of a choice. The film was done on the
cheap, and with very little in the way of plot aside from the foibles of the
staff of the high school, they HAD to do it that way in order to keep the
general tone of the film intact.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Akel got himself a winning cast, and the
writing is rather good for what it’s supposed to do. While this is rather
hamless as a comedy, the film is mostly meh, and is not something that one
would actually pay to go out and see on a Saturday night. However, it’ll get
all those involved more work in the future, and it’s a good thing to have on
one’s résumé. However, it won’t get past the festival circuit.